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New Year, New Light

1/14/2016

 
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I usually try to keep this blog light. The topics are encouraging and fun. My mission for SHEbirdie is to be a ray of light, a motivator, a welcoming space to look at pretty things. But sometimes life is a little darker than that. Sometimes hard things happen and we need some encouragement through those times as well.

The past 6 months have been tough for me. There have been some challenging and heartbreaking things that happened in my family. Though it’s been a hard 6 months, it was an experience that I know I had to go through. Sometimes things happen that become lessons and eye-openers and more fuel for grateful living.

So here we are in the New Year. I am more grateful than ever for what I have and who I have in my life. I feel more grown-up and more ready for whatever comes my way. January is usually a time of renewal and goal-setting. That certainly still holds true for me, but I also happen to feel more at peace with my current situation than I ever have before at the start of a new year. Yes, I’ve set some goals – in my love life, for my weight-loss journey, for my career happiness – but there is less pressure and anxiety and more calm and acceptance. I have determination to accomplish many things this year, but I’ve decided it shouldn’t feel like a chore. It should feel more like an opportunity.

This is my hope and wish for you in the New Year – Embrace the dark days and the hard things in your life. Choose to see the light inside them. Use that light to move you forward. Make your plans and set your goals, but keep an opportunistic point of view. Don’t let pressures and guilt drive you. You can accomplish anything for yourself with hard work and ambition, but keep your peace and remember to be grateful for every small win.
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My Life in a Manifesto

6/7/2015

 
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Five years ago I came across this poster online and immediately connected with its powerful message. I ordered one and pinned it to my wall, positioned so I could read it from my bed. In fact I read it nearly everyday upon waking. It's no exaggeration to say this is the inspiration for my life as it is now and what I hope it will become. I still have it on my wall by my bed. It still moves me and challenges me. Thank you ‪Holstee for voicing this beautiful system of beliefs so perfectly. SHEbirdie is the fruit of this inspiration. 

  • What inspires you?
  • Is there a quote, a work of art, or a person that has inspired you to step out of your box and live/think differently?

The Summer Break Lifestyle

5/3/2015

 
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Though my school days are long over, whenever Summer Break rolls around each year, I find myself reminiscing on summers past. It's a feeling of happy nostalgia for me. I remember my high school days being a carefree teenager with nothing in my pocket but plenty of time on my hands. My college days brought even more freedom with late nights out driving around town with friends, stitching together plans on the fly, and making the little we had go so far.

Even when I worked a 9-5 corporate gig after graduation, Summer Break retained its effect on me. I happened to work right next to a high school, so the memories really didn't have a chance to fade. In a way, I've always sought to rediscover that feeling in my life. I've always wanted to live in a bubble of chill, carefree summer nights.

Of course over time responsibilities grow, financial pressures build, and our once uninhibited friends become unavailable (which is the worst because what's a "summer break lifestyle" without companions to live it with?). 

Life gets more complicated and we are expected to follow the rules society has laid out for us. Get a job, dive into your work, save money, buy a house, start a family, plan life around the children, put them through school, pay off your loans, and then finally, maybe, if you have the resources, retire and have some time for a hobby and a senior vacation.

It's not hard to see why so many millennials are rejecting this formula. Just attempting to type it out objectively was a task for me! Today things are changing. Mindsets, systems, expectations - all are adjusting to the legitimacy of a "summer break lifestyle" that can be moderated and interwoven into everyday life. What we desire from work, family, and even the society we live in is more fluidity and freedom. We can set up our lives to feel like Summer Break and still take care of business. This is the new expectation for many. Hopefully one day soon it will be the new normal.

  • What is your ideal work/life balance?
  • Do you think there is a shift happening in corporations and societal expectations?

To Plan a Dream

2/19/2015

 
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Be honest: how much of your day is spent daydreaming about a life you don't quite have? From the time we were children, we dreamed of who we would be and what we would do. As we got older, we dreamed of where life would take us, what would fulfill us, what would bring us happiness. Maybe your dream is to travel the world and experience every city and culture. Maybe your dream is to attend an Ivy League university and learn from famous professors. Maybe your dream is to be a parent and have a family of your own. Maybe your dream is to own your own business and earn the right to put CEO after your name. Whatever your dream, whether it has come true or not, the only real way to get there is to plan your path. 

There is power in the act of putting down on paper the things that matter to us. When we take the time to write in a journal or send a handwritten note to a friend, the result is usually more profound than if we communicated our thoughts in other ways. The same is true when we write out a plan. It empowers our thoughts and ideas by making them actionable. 

When our dreams are empowered they take on a momentum of their own. This momentum drives the dream and pushes the dreamer to make a move. It creates probability where there was only possibility. It creates passion where there was only interest. It creates a vision for the future where there was only wishful thinking. Making a plan is a powerful thing. But how do you do it?

Start at the end and work your way backwards. What is the ultimate goal? What would it take to achieve it? Now look at that answer and ask what it would take to get to that point. Keep asking the question until you're just one step ahead of your present situation. This is the first step you must take. The only thing left to do is take the step. One step at a time. As long as you're moving forward, then your dream is on its way to becoming reality.

Share your thoughts:
  • Do you have a recurring daydream? A happy place your mind wanders to?
  • What would be the first step toward actually making that dream happen?

Journey of 1000 Days

12/9/2014

 
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Any outward change starts inside. It begins as an idea, or even a nagging thought...some concept that won't leave you. If you're a thinker, you'll mull over it for a while. You may question it and research it and ponder it until you decide to make a move. And if you're a little more extreme (like me), you'll plan it and attempt to assure its success before you even begin to act on it. 

This is how my life-changing journey began, way back in September 2012. It started with a restlessness in my spirit about my life in general - my job, my financial situation, my health, my lack of happiness. I first focused on my job and looked for ways out - other opportunities to start working at something I actually cared about. Then I thought about how I had been neglecting my health and what I needed to do to change that. I had also been longing for adventure and cultural experiences that I'd only gotten a glimpse of as a child. I soon realized that a complete overhaul was the only solution that would actually create the life transformation that I craved.

The past 830 days have been intense, freeing, challenging, emotional, inspiring, scary, educational, liberating, and so many other things that words can't describe. It's an upheaval that I highly recommend - it's life and learning and has been so important for my personal growth. But this post is about a 1000 day journey. The reason is because I still have a way to go and I hope to reach a new milestone by May of 2015. 

Now, I realize from first hand experience how uncontrollable time is - it either goes too fast or drags too slow, takes longer than expected or sneaks up on you. But goals still drive us and mine are pushing me towards a new line (a finish and an inevitable new start). For my health, I want to reach my goal weight by May. For my business, I want to reach that first level of success that I envision. For my adventuring spirit, I want to get back on a plane to somewhere I've never been. I believe in the power of my 1000 day journey and when this one is over, I can't wait to start the next one.

Share your thoughts:
  • Think about your last 1000 days - you may have been on a journey and not even known it. 
  • What has changed or become new for you recently?

The Fear Factor

10/31/2014

 
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What is the scariest thing you've ever done?

For me, it was a series of choices that, looking back seems way too risky, a little crazy, and altogether scary.
I made a choice 2 years ago to leave a stable desk job for self-improvement and a little adventure. Nearly a year later, after returning to that familiar, former world for a while, I made the choice again. I realized that I was onto something the first time - a way of thinking, living, and being that could never be boxed into that former world again.

It was a scary thing to realize because I always valued stability and predictability in my life. It was scary to discover that I wanted live a little dangerously. I've always been an "outside the box" person internally, but my external self was always "play it safe." Admitting that my internal self was my true self (and that it was in fact okay to honor it) was the scariest and best thing I've ever done.

When we discover who we really are or what we really want and choose to embrace it, in spite of the risks, we step out into a level of living that many people fear. Their fear will come in the form of doubting, eye-rolling, "genuine" worry for your sanity, and other variations of envy. Your fear will come in many of those same forms! The key is to plan what you can plan, never stop learning and improving, and keep moving forward. Still, trips, stumbles, and all out face plants will occur. This is part of the process and you can choose to see the lesson in each failure.

Doing something scary can be good for you - it can show you a strength you never knew you had; it can reveal a path you never thought would be an option for you; it can help you to see and understand people better; it can free you from boxes. So go and try something that scares you. Be fearless, and keep moving forward.

Share your thoughts:
  • What's the scariest thing you've ever done?
  • What is something that scares you but would ultimately be good for you?

Stoking the Fire

9/11/2014

 
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Share your thoughts:
  • Have you experienced a spark of passion within you? Or is yours a roaring fire?
  • What are some ways that you nurture your spark?

Stop Negative Talk

8/17/2014

 
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Share your thoughts:
  • Do you find yourself "venting" quite often?
  • Do you have a "go to" reaction for difficult situations?

The Passionate Pursuit

7/29/2014

 
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Do you have a basic idea of what your passion is, but not sure where to go from here? Well I have a word for you – energy. If you want your passion to drive your life and propel you toward fulfilling your purpose, you have to devote the energy to developing it. Notice I didn’t choose to say “time,” though time is inevitably a factor. What you spend your energy on determines your intentions. You may have only 1 hour to cook a feast that Julia Child would envy, but if cooking is your passion, the energy you pour into that task will be so exhilarating that it would defy the amount of time you were able to spend on it. Now, ideally, you could devote most of your time to your passion and the effects would be magnified. But even when time is short, energy drives us.

Share your thoughts:
  • What is the biggest obstacle you face in the pursuit of your passion?
  • What’s one thing you could do (or give up) to have more energy for pursuing your passion?

Discovering Your Passion

7/29/2014

 
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Here’s a headline you may have read before: Discover Your Passion in 10 Easy Steps!

Actually, I’d say it’s even simpler than that. You can discover your passion by asking yourself one question: What could I pour hours of my energy into without it feeling like a chore? This should be based on your actual life history/personal experience and not on what you think you could manage. If you can answer this question, then you’re at the shore of your “passion ocean” – it's an ocean because there is so much depth to be discovered inside your passion. Though it’s simple enough to realize what we truly care about, our passions are often multifaceted, quite layered, and most certainly can lead us down any number of avenues of pursuit. Discovery is just the beginning.

Share your thoughts:
  • How can discovering your true passion affect your life, as it is now?
  • Have you thought about focusing more energy on developing your passions?

    Author

    Mel

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​EST. 2014
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Photos used under Creative Commons from sierragoddess, mpclemens
  • beSTYLISH
    • blog | STYLISH
  • beHEALTHY
    • blog | HEALTHY
  • beEMPOWERED
    • blog | EMPOWERED
  • ESCAPE
    • blog | ESCAPE
  • All the Extras
    • About Us
    • Hello, my name is...
    • Contact Us